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Hi, I'm Stella with Advice for Lesbians.
My sister works at a Catholic School in Florida, do I have to go to her events there?
Stella,
My sister works at a Catholic high school in Florida. To clarify, the school is not gay friendly, just like the state. For instance, the school has a strict policy of no gay, lesbian, or trans books or posters anywhere in the school. Of course, there is a ‘Don’t Say Gay’ policy strictly enforced. My sister, who is straight, drank the Kool-Aid and works there. Moreover, Sis is as an English teacher and she puts on the schools plays. But since I am a lesbian, how do I handle her invitations to her plays at the Catholic school? Do I have to accept invitations from my sister at her “Don’t Say Gay” school?
I Can’t Believe I Live in Florida.
Dear I Can’t Believe Anyone Lives in Florida,
There could be a misunderstanding. In other words, there is a chance you sister doesn’t recognize that her invitations to her school plays bother you. After that discussion, it’s worth a try to let her know what is bothering you and why. It sounds that the school, by upholding the Parental Rights in Education Bill, legitimizes hatred of gay, lesbian and trans, which is unacceptable to you. This bill allows parents to sue a school district for damages if they feel the policies of the school infringes on their views on how they raise their kids. The bill also says teachers should out students to their parents. Wow can you imagine being outed to your parents when you were in school? Above all, don’t go to something that makes you uncomfortable and you feel is wrong. You can get more support from a Florida group, Sunserve.org
Think about moving to another state!
Stella
When is an invitation to coffee a date?
Stella,
A lesbian asked me out for coffee. Is this a date? Or just coffee.
Confused Lesbian, Java Nut
Dear Java the Nut,
Ah, this is one of those age old questions. One way to start to find out is, ask your lesbian friend who’s paying for this? For instance are you going Dutch? Therefore that question can usually can break the ice to the next lead in question. Is this a date? (accompanied with a gentle smile). If you’re not interested, reply to the original invite with “sure I love to meet friends out for coffee!” That should greatly reduce any confusion over the outing.
Have fun, Stella
My girlfriend is vegan but eats unhealthy processed foods – can we eat together?
Hi Stella,
My gf is vegan but eats unhealthy. She mostly eats processed foods. I eat meat occasionally but only lean cuts. Otherwise I select fresh veggies, fruits and whole grains. However, my gf is now pressuring me to give up meat! I’d like her to ditch the processed foods and eat more healthy like me. However, I don’t want to ditch the few meats I do eat. Any suggestions? This is causing major rift! Help!
Signed, Foodie
Ok Foodie,
Here’s my take. Ask if she agrees to eat healthier you will reduce your meat choices. And you can find restaurants that offers things both you can eat.
Above all, you want to show you are willing to make changes and for change to go both ways in the relationship. You can even reach out and do some research at The Vegan Society. Sometimes vegans will compromise to agree with seafood in their gf’s diet. Is she open to that for you? Is that ok with you? If so, try it! If not, this may be a fork in the road, literally and you may have to go your own separate ways, at least in the kitchen. It will take work for both of you. If your gf insists you give up meat, only you can decide if you’re going the wrong way on a one way street.
Good luck, StellaMaybe
Is Lesbian Bed Death real?
Stella,
My girlfriend of 4 years and I have hit a rough patch regarding our sex life. For the last 3 1/2 years things were fantastic in the bedroom. But the last 1/2 year it has been awful.
Signed, Is Lesbian Bed Death For Real?
Dear Is Lesbian Bed Death For Real,
Every group that has sex will experience some decline in sex eventually. Some specific sexual concerns might apply to lesbians. To clarify, women can take a longer time to achieve orgasm and in this fast paced world making time for sex should be a priority over other things on the the todo list. But that is easier said than done. Above all, make time to just be together and it might lead to sex a priority. Some of these, according to Katie, are “the length of time that it takes to achieve orgasm, and the amount of time that is invested into a sexual experience. If your partner is exhausted, maybe helping out or even hiring someone to help with whatever they feel overwhelmed with will help. A lot of counselors recommend a date night where you can get away from problems at home and concentrate on having fun as a couple. There are sex counselors who can really help out too. Curve Magazine has this incredible article, 5 Excuses That Keep You In An Unhappy Relationship you just might want to take a peak out if you think sex is a barometer of a relationship.
Have Fun and the Sex will Follow, Stella
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Advice by me, Stella. I really want to hear from you.
No question too thorny. So email me your questions at Stella@LesbianEarth.com.
And make some healthy choices.
Stella
- Stella@LesbianEarth.com