What Is Speed Friending? Why More Lesbian+ and Queer Women Are Choosing Friendship First
Speed friending is a structured social event where participants have a series of short conversations with new people to make friends and build community. Unlike speed dating, the focus is on friendship rather than romance.
At LesbianEarth, we’ve discovered something wonderful: when people feel welcomed, given simple conversation prompts, and know everyone is there for the same reason, meaningful connections happen surprisingly quickly. A new hiking buddy, book club friend, travel companion, concert partner—or sometimes even a future partner—can begin with a single conversation.
For many lesbian+ and queer women, building community isn’t always straightforward. Some grew up in places where they couldn’t be open about who they were. Others moved away from supportive friends, came out later in life, experienced the end of a long-term relationship, retired, or simply found that LGBTQ+ spaces don’t always make it easy to have genuine conversations. That’s why friendship matters.
Long before there were apps and social media, lesbian communities were built one introduction, one coffee date, one potluck, and one conversation at a time. Those traditions created lifelong friendships and chosen families. At LesbianEarth, we believe those connections are just as important today.
Many lesbian+ and queer women tell us they aren’t looking for “more networking.” They’re looking for their people. They want someone to hike with on Saturday morning, attend Pride with, take a weekend road trip through New Mexico, swap book recommendations, cheer on their favorite sports team, or simply enjoy coffee with when life gets difficult. Friendship creates the foundation for everything else. Strong communities don’t happen because thousands of people attend one festival each year. They grow because small groups of women continue seeing one another week after week, building trust over time.
Speed Friending removes many of the barriers that make meeting people difficult. Everyone attending has already said, “I’m here because I’d like to meet new people.” That shared purpose changes everything. Instead of wondering whether it’s okay to start a conversation, everyone expects it. The conversations are short, relaxed, and guided, allowing participants to discover common interests naturally.
Researchers continue to find that strong friendships contribute to better physical health, emotional well-being, resilience, and happiness. People with meaningful social connections often report lower levels of loneliness and stress and a greater sense of belonging.
Technology allows us to stay connected online, but it doesn’t always replace face-to-face conversations, shared laughter, or the comfort of knowing someone is there for you.
Friendship isn’t just nice to have—it plays an important role in living a healthy, fulfilling life.
When we organized our first Speed Friending event, we hoped people would enjoy themselves. What surprised us was what happened afterward. People exchanged phone numbers. Groups stayed talking long after the event ended. Women started hiking together, meeting for dinner, attending concerts, joining book clubs, and returning to future LesbianEarth events together.
Some participants have even found romantic relationships—but that isn’t the goal. The goal is creating a community where nobody has to attend an event alone. Community grows one conversation, one introduction, and one friendship at a time.
One of the comments we hear most often is:“I was nervous when I walked in, but after the first conversation I completely relaxed.” Others have shared: “I met people I never would have walked up to.” “Everyone was so welcoming.” “I’ve already made plans to see several people again.” Those moments remind us why these events matter.
This Month’s Wizard of Oz Speed Friending Event
This month’s Speed Friending event has a special Wizard of Oz theme. Why? Because the story reminds us that the qualities we need to build meaningful friendships are often already within us.
Courage
Like the Cowardly Lion, courage doesn’t mean you’re never nervous. It means showing up anyway. Walking through the door may be the bravest thing you do all week.
Wisdom
The Scarecrow reminds us that making friends isn’t about having the perfect conversation. It’s about being curious.
Ask questions. Listen carefully. Be interested in another person’s story. The smartest conversations often begin with simple questions and genuine curiosity.
Heart
The Tin Man teaches us perhaps the most important lesson of all. Friendship grows through kindness, empathy, and authenticity.
You don’t need to impress anyone. You don’t need to be the funniest person in the room or have the perfect story.
Simply showing up with an open heart is enough. Throughout the afternoon, we’ll have conversation starters, a few Wizard of Oz-inspired surprises, and plenty of laughter as everyone gets to know one another. Whether you’re attending your very first LesbianEarth event or you’re already part of our community, we hope you’ll leave feeling a little braver, a little more connected, and reminded that friendship begins with a simple hello.
What Should First-Time Participants Expect?
When you arrive, you’ll be greeted by friendly volunteers and given a name tag. We’ll explain how everything works before we begin. You’ll enjoy a series of short conversations with different people, with fun prompts to help everyone get talking.
There are no awkward speeches and no pressure to perform. Just relaxed conversations with women who are also hoping to expand their community. After the structured conversations end, there’s time to continue chatting with anyone you’d like to know better.
Why LesbianEarth Organizes Speed Friending
At LesbianEarth, we believe community isn’t built online alone. It’s built when people meet in person, share experiences, support one another, and create lasting friendships. Every event we organize is designed to make our community a little stronger than it was the day before. That’s why our motto is: Because we were never meant to do life alone.™ Whether you’re newly out, new to Albuquerque or Santa Fe, recently retired, starting over after a relationship, or simply hoping to meet women who understand your life experiences, you belong here.
The Wizard of Oz reminds us that Dorothy never reached Oz alone. Every step of her journey became easier because she found companions who brought different strengths—courage, wisdom, heart, and unwavering friendship. We think the lesbian+ and queer women’s community works much the same way. Our hope isn’t simply that you’ll enjoy one afternoon. It’s that you’ll leave with a phone number, a new friend, an invitation to coffee, a hiking partner, or the beginning of a community that enriches your life for years to come.
Because community is built one relationship, one conversation, and one gathering at a time. We can’t wait to welcome you to this month’s Wizard of Oz Speed Friending event. Bring your courage, your curiosity, and your heart—and discover that, like Dorothy, you were never meant to make the journey alone.
Your Lesbian World Newsletter™, published by LesbianEarth.com, is a growing national community and digital publication for lesbian+ and queer women featuring news, culture, relationships, travel, wellness, events, retreats, music, friendship, and real-life queer connection.
Because We Were Never Meant to Do Life Alone.™
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